The average person does not attend funerals on a regular basis. If you are worried about what you should or shouldn’t say, how to act or what to do when meeting with the grieving family, you are not alone in these apprehensions.

Don’t be afraid to keep it short and simple. “My thoughts are with you” and “My condolences to you and your family” are always safe bets. Sharing a nice memory of them might also bring comfort.

Historically, black is the traditional color of mourning, yet is not the only color you may choose. Grays and blues are also safe options. You should opt to something conservative, tasteful and subtle. A general practice is to stay away from decorative patterns or bright colors. Suits for men and dresses or suits for women are always appropriate. If you’re attending a celebration of life which may be held outdoors, attire doesn’t have to be quite as formal. Be cautious of being overly casual; avoid flip-flops, shorts and t-shirts.

Typically, the first and second rows of seats are reserved for close family and friends of the deceased. The remaining rows are for all other attendees. If you arrive late, it is a courteousy to sit in the back, so you do not disturb others. Once seated, it’s important to remain seated during the duration of the service.

Yes, it is okay to bring children to a funeral, especially if they were close to the deceased or are interested in attending. Babies and toddlers are often left with a babysitter since they may require more attention and distract you from being mentally present at the service.

Both memorials as well as funerals are held to celebrate a deceased person’s life. Both give those who knew them a chance to pay their respects. These events typically take place in a funeral home, a church, or other suitable location the family has chosen.

The term “funeral” is used to describe a ceremony honoring the life of a deceased individual. A funeral takes place when the body is present, and the service may be either an open or closed casket ceremony which involves a processional and a recessional. Family and friends have the opportunity to take one last look at the deceased before burial or cremation.

A memorial takes place when the body of the deceased is not present. Think of it as a funeral “in memory” of the person. In place of the casket, a picture, urn or flower arrangement may be used as the focal point for the memorial service.

Embalming sanitizes and preserves the body. It also slows down the decomposition process and enhances the appearance of a body impacted by a traumatic death or illness. Embalming gives time to the family of the deceased to arrange a service, and allows for the possibility of an open-casket viewing.

The cost of the funeral depends on the services selected. The average cost of a funeral is between $5,000-$7,000; however, the most basic of services can cost as little as $1000. The cost includes all professional services including transportation, embalming and other preparations, the use of a facility for the ceremony, and the purchase of a casket or urn.

Funerals are labor intensive A funeral's cost extends beyond the merchandise, and includes the services of the funeral director. Their role in making the necessary arrangements, filling out forms, and dealing with all the other figures involved after a death (doctors, lawyers, insurance companies). Funeral directors work an average of forty hours per funeral, and the cost of operating a funeral home is included as well. Funeral homes are a 24 hour operation, with extensive facilities that need to be maintained and secured.

 - Do express condolences
 - Do dress appropriately 
 - Do sign the register book
 - Do give a gift
 - Do keep in touch

 - Don't bring your cell phone
 - Don't allow children to be a distraction
 - Don't be afraid to remember the good times
 - Don't overindulge in food or drink